One of the worst things about growing up with parents who provide you with every available nicety and spoil you beyond belief is that when you become poor (which is inevitable when you have two kids at age 19) it is a real slap in the face. You move into your own place expecting the basic comforts of home but... You quickly determine that no matter how many times you open and close the freezer door Ben and Jerry's Cherry Garcia Ice Cream does NOT appear. SLAP! You find out that WATER is not free. SLAP! And amazingly you realize that when you run out of money, it is not magically replenished (the way I had always assumed it had). SLAP! SLAP! Once I moved out of the house I had grown up in everything was much harder. Not only was I responsible for all of the cooking and the cleaning but I was trying to financially support my "Steak and Potato" lifestyle on a "Ramen and Spam" budget. Which is not an easy task, I'll tell ya'. But here is what happened.
After moving into my first apartment, I had to furnish it with second hand furniture. I was forced to shop at discount stores. And I, on occasion even (and it pains me to admit this), swapped tuna recipes with my friends. However, I just wasn't satisfied with my newly impoverished lifestyle. I wanted more. So, I scoured every Home & Lifestyle magazine and I watched all of the Home and Garden shows on television (which there weren't a lot of in the late 80s). But what I found was you can't be "fashionably poor" unless, well, you're rich. One of the articles told me I should find a second hand couch at a thrift store ($65), replace the legs ($60), buy several yards of durable and funky fabrics to make my own slipcovers ($100), then pick up some inexpensive throw pillows (another $50), and VIOLA! a shabby chic couch "for less"! Less than what? $175 for a used couch? At the time I was living on maybe $500 a month, I didn't have $175 for a used couch. I mean I love Martha Stewart as much as the next girl but I was a single mom with a Public Aid issued medical card. I couldn't just "raise a few chickens in my backyard for inexpensive and fresher eggs", the neighbor's Pit Bull, Capone, probably would've killed 'em the first night. So, I decided that if I couldn't be Martha Stewart, I would become Shanequa Stewart, her poor, black (more money conscious) cousin.
It was fantastic! Once I made up my mind to give up my "Martha dreams" and embraced my inner Shanequa, everything fell into place.
- I saw a special where she suggested giving "goodie bags" to guests at children's birthday parties... I saved money by buying brown paper lunch bags and letting the children decorate their own bags with crayons and markers and then they filled them with the pinata candy. BING! BANG! BOOM! A gift, a project, and a game for supercheap!
- I also learned to decorate my own cakes with store bought icing (Who the heck needs buttercream. What the hell is marzipan and can you buy it with food stamps?) And I'll bet you didn't know that you can find some pretty decent "character-shaped" cake pans at Salvation Army! I did! I found a Snowman pan, A Big Bird pan, and a Playboy Bunny Pan. $1 each! (You just wash them SUPER good, that's all)
- Need material for slipcovers or Halloween Costumes? Hit every garage sale you can find and buy solid color sheets of every size. Believe me once you cut around any suspect stains you've got yourself some decent remnant fabric. (I once made my son Christopher a Mr. Potato head costume, with interchangeable facial features, out of materials found entirely at garage sales. He won most original costume!
Now I am not suggesting that the "bargain bin" is for everyone. It is not! But I just want everyone to know that just being on food stamps doesn't necessarily mean you can't make a delicious 3-cheese macaroni for your employee pot luck... you just use government cheese as one of the cheeses. Honestly, you just have to learn the art of compromise and working with what you've got. Right? Even though I am in a far better place financially now, I still use all the tricks I acquired over the years and I even try to pass them on whenever possible. I'm seriously thinking about starting my own television network, instead of HGTV (Home & Garden Television), maybe I'll make mine STTV (Slum & Trailer Television) and you'll only be able to pick it up on bootlegged cable! Think about it, "Next week on Shanequa Stewart Live!, making mosaics with broken beer bottles." Has a nice ring, doesn't it?
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