Dani, Girl Genius

I have gotten tons of questions since I started this blog. Obviously I am asked if the stories I write are true and I also have been asked just how long it took for me to find humor in my crazy childhood. But lately, I have had quite a few questions about my relationship with my sister. It seems that people find it puzzling that I ran to her for answers (and occasionally for protection) even though she was younger than me. I say to these people, "You haven't met my sister". Since we were very young Dani has been the more dominant one. She protected me from bullies. Always won when we fought (my dad once told me, "If you don't hit her back at least once, she is gonna to continue to whoop your ass until the day you die). She came up with all of our "master plans" and usually was the one who got us out of the trouble our "master plans" got us into. To me, Dani was like a Superhero using her powers for both Good and Evil. She was a force to be reckoned with... and always will be.

One summer we decided to build a go cart. Technically it was just a board on wheels that we covered in a carpet remnant. We then taped a bicycle blinker and a horn to the front. It had NO steering wheel. Or motor. No doors. No windows. Just a board on wheels that only moved if you pulled it or pushed it downhill. But then Dani decided it needed a brake. You know, for safety. And she designed one. It was a two foot rope with one end tied to the board and the other tied to a cinder block. The idea being that when it was time to stop, the rider would just throw the cider block off the board and it would act like an anchor. She was an 8 year-old genius, so I believed her when she said it would work and I should be the one to test it. I believed her when she said, "Hey, you get on and I'll push you down the driveway". I still believed her when she told me that we should wait until a car was coming so we could see how quickly the break would work. (In hindsight it's possible that my sister wasn't a genius, maybe she was just a way above average girl with a moron for a big sister.) Clearly, I didn't die and I wasn't ht by the car but I can attest, in no uncertain terms, that a cinder block thrown from a board, holding a screaming 10 year old, rolling down a hill into moving traffic, does not stop the board. It just breaks into big ass chunks that your dad will yell at you for leaving in the front yard... Consider this a lesson that I learned for all of us!