Broken Hearted Boy seeks Ugly Friend to use as a Consolation Prize!

You know how some girls choose friends that are uglier or fatter than they are so that they always look good? Yeah, I think I'm the uglier, fatter friend. Maybe not, but all throughout Junior High and High School I had the most gorgeous friends. It started with, Tracie, my best friend at Franklin Middle School. Tracie, was (and still is) one of the most beautiful girls I have ever known. (Her skin was always perfect, she has always been thin, and unfortunately for all the other women around her, she is as nice as she is pretty). Tracie and I always had a blast together. We listened to music. We rode our bikes everywhere. We swam in the summer. We watched t.v. in the winter. We slept over at each other's houses all year round (I also used to make out with her brother sometimes after everyone at her house would go to sleep but that is really beside the point). Anyway she was a great friend but a boy I liked once told me, "She will be WAY prettier than you once she gets boobs." And honestly she is. And then there was Rachel, my super beautiful Korean friend. She was exotic, athletic, funny, and had an unnatural way of transforming all the boys around us into babbling morons. (Again though, she was uber sweet and her dad taught me a few Korean cuss words).

I don't know why but I think I was drawn to friends that seemed to "shine" brighter than others (regrettably though, they all shined so incredibly it showed EVERY SINGLE ONE of my physical imperfections). However, that was alright because they were my friends and I loved them. In high school, there was Keyla, Carmen, Joy, Avis, and my sister, Dani... all gorgeous and ALL cheerleaders. Honestly, a slumber party at my house was like a teenage boys porn fantasy (no, we weren't pillow fighting topless but there was a significant amount of pajama wearing hotness!!) So here was the problem: boys circled and swarmed us all of the time but never to be close to me. I wasn't jealous exactly but it was hard to be "the ugly friend", especially when you are not really all that ugly... in normal circles I would have been fairly decent looking (in high school I wasn't fat - unless I was pregnant - and my lazy eye rarely acted up back then). But with my friends I was well below average; therefore, I put all my time and energy into becoming the "nice one" and the "funny one", and for the most part it worked. Boys began to spend their time talking to me while they were waiting for their turn to dance with Carmen or Keyla or hanging around until Dani got home. And they found me charming. I wasn't quite as uptight as other girls and due to my inability to control what comes out of my mouth when I am nervous, they found me hilariously laid back! I became all of the guys' best buddy. They came to me for advice when they were trying to "woo" my friends and came to me to "talk" when my friends broke their hearts. And inevitably I would hear, "I should've dated you but she is just sooo beautiful and I didn't notice you." (Believe me that is only romantic in '80s movies, i.e; Some Kind of Wonderful or Secret Admirer, in real life it is just insulting!) I just wanted to scream, "Aahhhh, you sweet talker! Tell me more! Tell me more! Maybe how her glorious breasts had always blocked your view of my one good eye! Or how at first you couldn't hear me talking because you were listening to the melodious sound of her every fart!" But I didn't, once I even dated the dumb ass (I guess that actually made ME the dumb ass!).

I know it doesn't sound like it but my wounds have all healed and I still have lovely friends who all shine very brightly (a few of them, the cheerleaders from high school) but the game has changed. Because I shine now too! I am more confident, more seasoned, and even with the added weight I have grown into my looks... but most importantly I am married! Married to a man who knew us all in high school and he chose me. I was his FIRST pick! Not his fall back plan or consolation prize. That feels great! (I am actually thinking of having a tee shirt made!)

Wow, it is great to know that the underdog can win outside of those cheesy '80s movies!