From time to time I am approached by people and asked, "Do people ever give you ideas for your blog?" And from "time to time" I mean at least every other day. Some stories that I am told are good ones that are applicable to my life and trigger a memory that I would like to share with all of you. But the other stories (although usually funny) simply don't apply to me and it would be hard for me to write about something that I didn't see or experience for myself. However, my favorite blog suggestions are not stories at all... they are more like social complaints and witty observations.
"Do a blog about how people talk too loud on their cell phones."
"Ever notice how fat people order 2 big macs, large fries, an apple pie, and a DIET soda?"
"Hey, discuss how people online lie about the way they look!"
"You should definitely write a blog about people who talk to loud at the movies."
And my personal favorite... "Please write about the cheesy pick-up lines guys use on women."
But the problem is, I tend to talk too loud on the cell phone and everywhere else for that matter. I also have been known to order a five piece Chicken Selects, super-sized Fries, and a DIET Pepsi. I also have been known to post very flattering photos on my home-pages (I never show any of my chins) and my driver's license says that I weigh 156 lbs (obviously you cannot see me right now, but I just laughed about 157 lbs of my ass off). I try to stay quiet at the movies but my husband needs to be shushed about every 15 minutes. However, I would desperately like to touch on the way men hit on woman (and sometimes vice-versa).
I completely understand that it takes alot of courage to approach someone that you find attractive and kudos to those who throw caution (and pride) to the wind and say, "Hello, I find you interesting and would like to spend some time getting to know you." That being said, please, please, please think before speaking.
I was in the elevator at work last week and a disheveled man said, "You work here?" I told him that I did. He replied, "Oooooh I wish I could find I fine hard workin' woman like you. Da' bitch I'm dealing wit' ack like she don't wanna work." And then he followed with, "Come talk to me on yo' break." I didn't answer. I just got off the elevator and went and washed my hands. Guys like that make me feel icky.
My best friend Ann and I stopped at a liquor store to pick up some Jose Quervo before a party, once and the sales clerk yelled at us as we walked out of the door, "Come back at closin' time and I'll show you why it's called liquor (lick her) and he did a super creepy licky thing with his tongue.
And then, of course, there are the guys that just walk up and grab your ass. I once had a guy even try to lick the back of my neck! Yeeee - uck!
It is amazing to me that men think that any of these things might work on any woman of quality! So, in the spirit of "Do people ever give you any ideas for your blog?" I would like to all of you to think of the cheesiest or sleaziest pick-up lines that someone has tried on you and email me and with your permission I will share them with the rest of the Olives and Underpants crowd. (Guys feel free to share your crazy pick-up stories, too. I do not discriminate).
I look forward to hearing from you soon.
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