As I much as I thought that I would hate getting older, it is not nearly as bad as I thought. My only true complaints are that I constantly feel like I should have accomplished more and I spend more money per month on hair coloring than on gas, but other than that getting older is pretty fantastic. I feel so much more comfortable in my own skin and quite frankly don't really give a shit if other people like me or not (except for maybe my sister's husband. For some reason I really need him NOT to think I'm a moron... obviously I am fighting a losing battle there). But I just feel so entitled as I get older. Entitled to do and think and say, what I want.
Oh my god! I am becoming my mother-in-law! My mother-in-law, before she passed away, said whatever she wanted to whomever she wanted. For the first year of my marriage she called me by every D name but my own (Dawn, Diane, Demetria, Desdemona, etc...) and she wore BLACK to our wedding. (I know now that she was just testing me and later we did get closer but it was long and taxing road.) The first time she met my sister's husband , she asked him what he did for a living. When he told he was a Sergeant with the State Police she just rolled her eyes and said, "Hhmmpp, I never cared much for the police." And that was that.
Aging is like a free pass to political incorrectness. I clearly remember my father turning to my sister and I in the middle of the mall and yelling, "Quit acting like a couple of fucking retards!" He obviously wasn't worried about offending anyone but my mother, who was several years younger, would automatically shush him in embarrassment. There is an old man at the library who continually stands at the counter and passes gas and then looks directly at you, as if daring a comment. He clearly doesn't care what anyone thinks. Now don't get me wrong, I still bathe and brush my teeth everyday. I never go outside in my slippers or without a bra. I try to watch my language in public. And I generally excuse my self to the ladies room before digging out a wedgie. But I do these things for ME not for anyone else. I couldn't care less if people know that my underwear ride up my ass from time to time... I am human!
Back when I was in high school, I would have never been able to open my life up to the world the way I do in this blog. I would have been afraid that you all would judge me harshly, now I just say this is me... take it or leave it! I guess I have just realized that in my youth I spent sooooo much time trying to cover up my flaws and imperfections and altering my views and opinions to match the social norm that I just didn't have time to enjoy myself. Well, not now, I am going to spend the second half of my life "Sayin' it loud and sayin' it proud!". If I want to tell the idiot kid talking to me that I can't hear him until he pulls his pants up, I will! If I want to tell the giggling teenager on the phone that I believe she is too stupid to call my son, I will! If I want to tell my guy friend who always over-exaggeratedly ogles every women's breasts to give it up because we all know he's gay, I will! And if I want to scream to the world I am taking a week off and I will not take phone calls, hear problems, or do favors for the next seven days, I... well, I won't but I will not answer my phone so quickly and I will sound hesitant to help each time somebody ask for help. O.K. maybe I am not old enough to be that ballsy yet but I'm still a work in progress!
So, I say to you embrace your age tighter and tighter every year. Age brings wisdom, self-assurance, and well honed sense of personal style. And so what if your boobs are a little saggier, with the size of your butt nobody probably even notices!
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